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Emotional Regulation, Part Two: How Breathwork Helps When Your Feelings are Getting the Best of You

7/18/2025

As we talked about earlier this week, even small shifts here and there can help when things seem overwhelming. Today, we're going to take a look at one way to shift what you're feeling pretty quickly.

It's the one I usually to turn to first.

Breathwork: A Soothing
Way Back to Yourself

So, about breathing. It’s actually one of your closest allies when your feelings run you over.

Have you ever noticed how your breath changes with your mood? In those tense or difficult moments, you might hold your breath, sigh a lot, or feel like you can’t catch a real, deep inhale.

That’s your body’s natural stress button being pressed.

But here’s the magic: you can use your breath to send a little message to your body that says, “Hey, let’s take it down a notch.”

I used to think that breathwork was something fancy that would probably trigger my asthma. But it’s really just paying attention and letting your breath help carry you back to balance.

Breath & the Nervous System

Your breath is like your own built-in mood tracker.

When you feel calm, your breath is easy and steady. When you’re anxious, upset, or wiped out, it often becomes quick, shallow, or tight.

And your breathing actually talks to your brain. If your breath stays short and tense, it can keep your body on alert. But if you learn to slow it down, you teach your whole self to relax.

Breathing and the Nervous System

Your breath and your nervous system often work in tandem. sometimes they pull each other into a panic, and sometimes they lead one another back to calm.

When you breathe fast or hold your breath, your body hears, “Trouble!” and reacts with more stress. Slow, full breaths tell your system, “It’s okay now. You’re safe.”

When that happens, you feel more comfortable, can think more clearly, and are able to connect with yourself and others from a softer place.

Breathwork gives you a quick way to help your body shift gears—from spinning out, to grounded.

Conscious Breathing

The next time you’re feeling stressed or low, pay attention to your breath.

Are you taking little sips of air? Holding it in your chest? Sighing a lot? Just notice. No judgment.

That simple awareness is powerful.

When you catch yourself in a stress-breathing loop, you can pause and breathe differently, even if only for a moment. It’s a small change, but it can flip the switch on your mood.

CONSCIOUS BREATHING

Feelings can sometimes sweep you away. Sometimes you snap, shut down, or say something you wish you hadn’t.

Conscious breathing is like a secret pause button. Even one slow breath gives you a moment's time before you react.

That moment helps you pick your next move instead of reacting on autopilot. It's a good practice to have even during the little hiccups, so that you’re ready for the bigger feelings when they come.

So when something throws you off, pause and take a soft, slow breath. In that tiny moment, you give yourself the power of choice — a chance to respond with kindness, not just react from habit.

And practice will help this become second nature, even when emotions are strong.

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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Wordless Wednesday: Choices

7/16/2025

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love & trust or fear & doubt
being real or hiding
trying to control or choosing to respond

Which choice are you making?

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Emotional Regulation: Your Everyday Practice

7/14/2025

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Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation might be a term you're not all that familiar with, but whether you realize it or not, you’re already doing it every single day. Really.

Every time you catch your breath before saying something sharp, or when you give yourself a pep talk before a tricky conversation. Or even when you decide to “just let it go” after a rough moment with a friend.

Emotional regulation shapes how you meet stress, move through the difficult days, or connect with your family and friends.

And if you sometimes feel like your emotions take over (been there, still visit often), you aren’t alone. A lot of us — especially those of us who are sensitive — struggle with feeling flooded by big feelings.

I used to think the best move was to shut those feelings down and just soldier on. Maybe you learned that too?

But you know what I learned the hard way? That method just leaves your body holding the bag. Spoiler: Our bodies never forget.

Defining Emotional Regulation

Here’s what emotional regulation boils down to: noticing what’s coming up inside you and pausing long enough to decide how you want to handle it.

You don't have to push it down, or let it run your day. Instead, decide how to you want to handle those feelings when they come up, and practice that chosen response.

What does this look like in real life?

It’s calming yourself down after your favorite client cancels at the last minute. It’s keeping your heart open when you feel anxiety buzzing around your chest, or choosing new thoughts when old frustrations start to surface.

If you were ever taught to brush aside what you really feel, we might have been in the same class. But unfortunately, stuffing those feelings down does not get rid of them.

When you start allowing your feelings to be there, without letting them take the wheel, you create room for grace.

Less reacting, more responding. More kindness, less regret.

The Brain-Body Connection

This here is the science-y bit...

Your emotions don't just live in your head, they live in your whole nervous system. The little almond-shaped amygdala in your brain?

It jumps into action any time you sense a threat, real or imagined, or even just spot something unfamiliar. That’s where the “fight, flight, fawn, freeze” part begins.

Your prefrontal cortex (it's right behind your forehead) is built to help you make choices, stay grounded, and not blurt out that thing you’ll regret in the car later.

But when your nervous system feels overwhelmed or unsafe, that calm wisdom goes offline.

Have you ever suddenly forgotten every self-care skill you know? Blame the overload for those memory lapses, and don’t be hard on yourself.

As a healer or lightworker, you probably think a lot about growth, expansion, and ascension. But sometimes we aim for self-actualization when what we really need is to help our nervous system unwind.

You’re allowed to start with comfort and calm, and stay right there until it feels like home.

Bringing Emotional Regulation into Your Life

So, here’s your gentle reminder - let yourself actually feel your feelings. Notice them. Name them, if you'd like.

Sit with them for a minute (or ten), then choose, on purpose, how to respond.

(1) Try a soft hand on your heart.

(2) Breathe deep (candles and tea help, too).

(3) Let yourself journal about what you notice, with no judgment.

Ask yourself: What do I really need right now?

What is this feeling trying to show me?

Sometimes the answer is a walk, a good cry, or the softest blanket you own.

Remember, emotional regulation does not equal being perfect. We’re all learning how to show up for ourselves and each other with a little more love.

So, next time your emotions feel overwhelming, trust yourself to hold it all, and know that you don’t have to do it alone.

(Tea’s on the counter if you need it.)

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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Guided Journaling for Emotional Healing and Self-Discovery

7/10/2025

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If you ever watch the world’s news with your heart in your throat, I’m glad you’re here today. Lightworkers, healers, the quiet comfort-givers—this post is for you.

I started using guided journals when my son was small. Why?

Because even my beloved vanilla tea and my favorite crystals couldn’t always help me feel better or work through my feelings. Instead, I needed a soft, safe place to let it all out, where I could get clarity and hear myself think.

Think of guided journaling as your own little sanctuary. Give yourself permission to breathe, reflect, and write it all out.

What's Guided Journaling?

Guided journaling is like having a wise friend sit with you, nudging you toward questions you might never ask yourself.

Unlike blank-page journaling, it offers prompts—maybe as simple as “How am I feeling right now?” or as deep as “What part of today do I wish I could release?” These prompts may help you find clarity in places that often get skipped over in daily chatter.

For healers and lightworkers, most of your day runs on the service setting. You hold space. You listen. You feel like a lighthouse for everyone swirling around you.

Guided journaling offers a private pause, a way to check in without being interrupted, judged, or expected to fix it all. It’s a soft landing after a hard day, and a boundary between your spirit and everyone else’s needs.

Guided Journaling for
Emotional Healing

Why is journaling important for lightworkers? Because you matter just as much as those you support.

Guided journaling rewires old habits. Instead of shoving down anger or heartbreak, you let those feelings breathe on paper where they can’t poison your body or spirit anymore.

The benefits ripple out...

(1) Emotional Resilience: The more you practice, the less power old wounds have over your present moments.

(2) Clarity and Intuition: Prompts like “Is this feeling even mine?” help you separate your own emotions from what you pick up as an empath or healer.

(3)Self-Compassion: Meeting yourself with curiosity (instead of criticism) will help you let go of shame and isolation.

(4) More Peace: As you process your feelings, you send a message to your nervous system that calms it down, letting it know you no longer need it to be on constant alert.

Over time, you’ll notice more lightness, more responding instead of reacting, and a stronger sense of your own truth.

Try a Mini Ritual with
Guided Journal Prompts

Take three slow, deep breaths, and then think through these three guided journal prompts…

(1) What does emotional healing mean to you and what would it look like to you?

(2) Which feelings do you find the hardest to express, and why?

(3) Do you have a relationship in your life that you find emotionally draining? What is it that drains you?

Take a moment and breathe deeply while offering boundless love to yourself and to the energy of the relationship.

Now read these affirmations silently and then, out loud…

I forgive myself for all of my past mistakes.

I deserve to set boundaries that protect my emotional well-being.

How powerful that you’ve just done a mini emotional healing ritual and connected to yourself more deeply. You’ve added healing to your day, all while reading a blog post!

I Got Help from a
Guided Journaling AI Tool

In my Fearless Lightworker Toolkit, there’s an AI tool that will offer you personalized journal prompts, based on what you tell it. So in the moment, you get help with a problem you’re struggling with, by thinking through it or about it in a way you hadn’t before.

GUIDED JOURNAL AI TOOL

What I asked it…

I have a deep, inner belief that I am loved and adored by God. And I believe that my divine self (higher self) marinates in that love all of the time and can offer it to me.

So presumably, I could be feeling that love as I move through each day. Imagine that!

And since love is the highest frequency there is, if I were within it and drawing from it, I also would be able to draw to me my deepest heart wishes, if the law of attraction works the way it is said to work.

But this is not my everyday experience. Give me some journal prompts that might help me create a daily experience of being bathed in love.

Here are the journal prompts the AI tool gave me…

(1) What moments in your day most naturally invite you to feel the presence of divine love, and how can you gently deepen your awareness of that connection in those moments?

(2) How do you currently notice and experience the love your higher self offers, even in small or subtle ways?

(3) What thoughts or beliefs might be creating distance between you and the feeling of being bathed in love, and how might you compassionately explore these without judgment?

(4) When you imagine yourself fully wrapped in love’s highest frequency, what sensations, images, or emotions arise within you?

(5) How can you create simple, nurturing rituals or practices that remind you to open your heart to the love that is always present inside and around you?

GUIDED MEDITATION AI TOOL

Then I got inspired and decided to ask the guided meditation AI tool in the toolkit for a micro meditation that would help me do the same thing. When it does that, it also gives you an encouraging message and an affirmation.

This was the response to my request…

The Message

You are deeply cherished, even in moments when it doesn’t feel strong or clear. Your higher self is always wrapped in God’s endless love, quietly offering that warmth to your heart.

It’s okay if you don’t feel it every moment—this love is like the sun: unseen behind clouds but still shining. You’re not alone on this path, and each step you take brings you closer to living in this loving light.

Guided Micro Meditation: Bathed in Divine Love (3-5 Minutes)

Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can sit or lie down. Close your eyes gently.

Take a slow, deep breath in... hold it for a moment... now breathe out fully, letting your body relax.

Imagine a soft, warm light above your head—this is the pure love of God that surrounds you always.

With each breath in, feel this loving light slowly pour down like gentle rain or a warm bath, soaking into your skin and filling your heart.

Picture this light washing away any doubt or heaviness, leaving softness and peace in its place.

As you breathe out, imagine this love spreading through your whole being, from your head to your toes, filling every corner of you.

If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the feeling of this warm, comforting light wrapping you in love.

Rest here for a few moments, simply feeling held and bathed in this divine love.

When you’re ready, slowly bring your attention back to the room and open your eyes, carrying this quiet love with you.

The Affirmation

I am always held in the gentle, endless love of the divine. This love flows through me each day, guiding me toward my deepest wishes with calm and grace.

Isn’t that beautiful? All of it gave me a lot to think about!

I know you’re busy right now, but maybe later, if you'd like, you could use those journal prompts, guided meditation and affirmation in a longer ritual, complete with a yummy-smelling candle, a cozy blanket and a delicious cup of tea. :)

Integrate Guided Journaling
into Your Sacred Self-Care Rituals

Pair your journaling with whatever emotional comforts already work for you. Herbal tea, soft music, a squishy pillow, or a ritual from the
Comforting Rituals Generator.

A few ways to weave journaling into your days:=...

A Morning Check-In: A few lines about what you need most before your day begins.

An Evening Release: Write what you’re letting go of or what helped you feel safe today.

An Energy Reset: When you notice heaviness, pause and write before doing anything else.

Journaling can be a gift. It offers a place to meet yourself again and again, no matter how crazy the world gets.

The Takeaway

Those of us who are called to heal, and kind others as well, are the first to hand out comfort but are often the last to offer it to ourselves. Guided journaling is one way to yourself permission slip to let go of that old pattern.

And little by little, journaling can help you find your way home to yourself. It's a beautiful act of love, for you and for the world you’re here to care for.

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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Part Three: How to Tell Who's Leading - False Self or Goddess Self

7/8/2025

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So you’re fully empowered and standing in your light, but then that sneaky old voice speaks up. You know, the one that loves to tell you why you shouldn't do what you're planning, shouldn't say what you're thinking, etc.

Recognizing the voice of your false self and shifting into the energy of your goddess self is the key to healing and showing up authentically for yourself and others. But sometimes, even though you know this in theory, it’s easy to lose track in the merry-go-round of everyday life.

Let’s walk through the physical, emotional, and energetic signs that tell you which self is running the show, then dive into the rituals that help you shift from fear to love.

It can be easy to assume you’ll just know when your goddess self is calling the shots. But the truth is that sometimes her voice is no louder than a whisper, and the false self is a chatterbox with a megaphone.

But your body and your feelings will always leave little breadcrumbs.

Picking Up on the Clues

Here are some physical and emotional clues you can watch for...

(1) Tightness or Ease: If your shoulders are scrunched up around your ears, your jaw is clenched, or your stomach is in knots, your false self may be running the show. On the other hand, if you are in a flow state, experiencing warmth, and a soft belly, the goddess self is present.

(2) Thought Loops vs. Clear Knowing: Repetitive, anxious thinking feels like a dog chasing its tail.
Around and around, you go.

The goddess self sounds quieter and more curious. When she leads, solutions feel simple and grounded.

(3) Dread or Anticipation: Feeling a wave of dread, shame, or pressure to prove yourself. That’s the false self.

If you’re moving forward with anticipation or excitement, your goddess self is opening a door for you.

(4) Reacting or Responding: Do you blurt things out, shut down, or want to hide? The false self reacts — fight, flight, fawn or freeze.

The goddess self is responsive. You'll pause, breathe, and choose your words or next steps with care.

(5) Energy Waves: Are you sometimes exhausted just thinking about taking action? The false self uses your energy and drains it.

Your goddess self leaves you feeling energized, even if the work is hard.

A personal example? I often get to a place where I feel really connected to my goddess self, and then, I don't notice that I've slipped back into false self energy, until one of the signs above gets my attention.

And sometimes, that doesn't happen until I'm checking in at the end of the day. I'm working on pausing for moments of stillness, so I can check in with myself more often.

Journaling & Rituals
to Make the Shift

When painful feelings won't let go or your mind is racing, rituals and journaling can pull you out of autopilot and help you remember what you know is true, so you can shift from fear to love.

Here are some practices you can try...

The “Who’s Talking?” Journal Prompt: Morning or night, write: “Who’s speaking right now—my false self or my goddess self?”

Write whatever comes to mind. Notice the tone, the words, and what each self wants or is afraid of.

Body Scan Meditation: Sit quietly, close your eyes, and breathe into each part of your body.

Where do you feel tension? Warmth? Imagine asking, “Who’s affecting my body most? The protector, or my wisest self?” See what images or words appear.

Self-Soothing Ritual: Light a candle, hold and sip a mug of tea, and then, place both hands over your heart.

Try this affirmation and speak from the heart...

“All parts of me are welcome, but only love is in charge today.” Breathe in, and feel love coming in. Exhale, sending tension out.

The Comfort Ritual Generator: If you need inspiration or you’re in a fog, let the ritual generator choose a comforting practice for you.

Question Swap: When you catch yourself thinking, “What if I mess up?” change it to, “What if I give myself comfort, even if this feels scary?” Notice how your energy shifts.

Mindful Movement: Take a short, barefoot walk, feel your feet on the floor, and let any anxiety move through you, and out. Movement clears static and brings your intuition back online.

Self-Check Post-it: Write “False or Goddess?” on a sticky note and pop it on your mirror.

Whenever you pass by, pause and ask: Who’s leading right now? Then, choose a tiny act of comfort—a slow breath, a stretch, a hand on your heart.

Each ritual brings you to the softness of the present moment. You don’t have to force the goddess self to take over; you can invite or ask her in.

These tools can guide you to the comfort and clarity you’re looking for. You can choose your true self again and again, even in the middle of a false self takeover.

Comfort Rituals to Nurture & Strengthen the Goddess Self

You already know there’s magic in choosing comfort, especially when the world feels crazy. Creating rituals for soul-tending can give you a soft landing after a long day, or a great morning start.

This is where you get to listen in, tune out your brain’s noise, and honor your goddess self. The right comfort tools will feel cozy, but also steep you in truth.

Daily Comfort Tools to Support Your Authenticity

Daily rituals help you keep choosing your true self, no matter what’s happening outside your window or in your inbox. These practices help you press the reset button, so that each day, you begin again.

Here are some of my best-loved comfort tools that can help keep you rooted in who you really are...

(1) Breathwork: Try a few slow, deep breaths with one hand on your heart. Feel the air move in and let it fill you up. Breathe out, and picture the old weight leaving your chest.

(2) Nurturing Affirmations: Speak simple, kind truths to yourself. Short phrases like “I am safe to be real,” or “My comfort is sacred.”

Say them at bedtime, or when you first wake up. Or tuck them into your journal.

Over time, these words will carve new paths in your mind.

(3) Sacred Moments: Have a brief ritual—light a tea candle and pause, sip something yummy, hold a favorite stone. Even a minute will help.

These moments can pull you back from anxiety and into a sense of comfort or home.

Add one or two of these to your morning or evening routine. Use them to shift toward your goddess self.

The Takeaway

Who’s been leading today, your false self or goddess self?

Which of these ideas for brief rituals or moments of comfort appeal to you most?

Choosing your goddess self over the false self is how you return home to the truth of who you are, whenever you need to do so. When you pause to notice whose voice is guiding you—fear or love, pressure or peace, you step back into your power.

And your journey is not just a personal one. It’s collective.

Keep tending your soul, and remember that your presence helps to build the healing field of energy this planet needs. We are grateful to you for showing up, for being real, and for walking this path with us.

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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How to Celebrate the 4th of July

7/4/2025

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(1) Have conversations with your family about how this country came to be, what independence means to you, and what you value about living in a democracy.

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America" - Preamble to the Constitution

(2) Light a candle, and visualize what you would want for our country to experience in the future.

How you want it to recover and grow. What does that look like?

And whenever you happen to gaze at the candle, for however long you keep it burning, make a heartfelt wish for that vision to be realized. For example...

May it be so.

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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Part Two: The Goddess Self & How to Know When She's Leading

7/3/2025

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We started this discussion in yesterday's post, and we explored the false self and how you can recognize it when it shows up and tries to take charge. Today, let's look at the goddess self, a.k.a as the divine self or higher self.

Who is the Goddess Self?

Let’s talk about the part of you that feels ancient, wise, and quietly unshakeable—your goddess self.

Deep inside, there's a version of you who is both soft and strong, who trusts her own rhythms, and knows how to offer healing just by being real.

She’s there beneath the chaos, and there even when the world feels exhausting.

If you’ve ever had those moments when you know, down to your bones, that you’re meant for more than worry and self-criticism, that’s your goddess self saying hello.

She offers you authenticity and kindness, and helps you claim your own space in the world.

Core Characteristics of the Goddess Self

It can be tempting to think of the goddess self as a kind of distant fairy tale figure, floating above it all with light and sparkles. That's what she'd look like in the movies.

But actually, she lives right here, inside you, ready to take the lead if you let her.

You’ll know you're living as your goddess self when you...

(1) Trust your intuition even when the world would want proof. That gut feeling is your first language and it's important to pay attention to it.

(2) Practice radical self-love, and self-acceptance, even on the most difficult days. Which also means kindness & compassion, instead of self-judgment.

(3) Take empowered action instead of freezing in self-doubt. And your choices line up with what feels true for you, not what you think others expect.

(4) Hold space for your whole self, shadow or false self and all. Instead of trying to edit out your pain or awkwardness, you treat those parts like family.

(5) Offer loving acceptance to others, just as they are, while not dissolving your own boundaries. Compassion for them doesn’t mean you have to abandon yourself.

(6) Bounce back after setbacks. Not because you never struggle, but because you know how to comfort yourself and gather your inner resources.

The Goddess Self also Inspires Your Self-Care...

Living as your goddess self shows up in things like...

Saying “no” when you mean it. Reaching for a comforting ritual when you need it — tea, candlelight, a slow breath with your hand on your heart.

Checking in with your real needs instead of shaming yourself for being “too much” or “not enough.” Allowing your feelings to move through you, instead of stuffing them away.

Every single act of kindness and self-care, whether it’s a five-minute break, a playlist that makes your soul hum, or a promise kept to yourself, shows that you’ve let your goddess self take the wheel.

The Spiritual Role of the Goddess Self

You know those moments when comfort feels like medicine, and when a hug or a kind word changes the air in the room?

That’s goddess energy at work, within you, but also radiating outward.

It's not that you're always “on.” But even when you're not, your goddess self is a steady source of light that heals, simply by existing.

How Your Goddess Self Supports Collective Healing

(1) She makes healing contagious. When you choose self-kindness, and self-acceptance, others feel permission to drop their masks too.

(2) She holds the vision when hope flickers. Your presence soothes, calms and reminds others that peace is possible even when pain is real.

Two days before she died, one of my best friends called for me to come over, saying she needed me. I knew that just meant she needed my presence, my comfort, etc. And I am so damn glad I was able to be with her that day!

(3) She honors her own truth. You stand in your values, even when it feels lonely, becoming an anchor for those searching for stability.

(4) She sustains her energy field. By grounding in daily self-tending, you avoid burnout and keep your energy clean, clear, and generous.

This is at the heart of my Comfort Apothecary vision. When you nurture your light, with comfort, and self-care, you create safety that spreads outward, ripple by ripple.

Every candle you light, every cozy ritual, every time you rest in spite of the world's message to go go go, you're making a world-healing choice.

Here's what we lightworkers sometimes get wrong: living as your goddess self doesn’t require you to fix anyone. But I know! It can be so tempting.

Really, though, your goddess self is just asking you to be the truest version of yourself, and trust that, when you do so, you are already offering healing to our planet. Your warmth and authenticity help others to step into their own truth.

And boy, does the world need that right now!

Does this post help you understand your goddess self better? Tell me in a comment.

Next week, we dive deeper into how to tell the difference and what to do to lean into goddess self energy more often.

Love you guys!

Jeanine

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False Self vs. Goddess Self: And How to Know Who's Really in Charge

7/2/2025

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Do you ever wonder why some days you feel centered, clear, maybe even luminous, and other days you get caught up in old patterns of doubt or unworthiness?

And sometimes, it’s off and on in the same day!

Or is that just me?

As a lightworker or healer, life seems to put you to the test as soon as you decide you’re finally stepping into your truest self.

There’s this ongoing tug-of-war: your goddess self is ready to lead, but the false self (that voice soaked in old shame and survival stories) is just as eager to take over. And unfortunately, it often feels more real, at first.

It’s frustrating, right? You know you’re here to beam healing into the world, but you’re still sorting out who’s actually living your life—your soul or your survival-mode self.

The truth is, there’s real power (and relief) in learning to tell which one is showing up.

This is the first of 2 or 3 posts where we will be exploring how to tell who's leading.

Keep reading…

Here's why it's so powerful. If you can spot the difference, you can soothe your shame, reclaim your light, and show up for yourself and others from a place that feels centered.

It's not easy, but it's the only game in town.

I find that the lines blur the most on hard days, when fear sneaks in and makes me want to hide, or when shame suggests I’m not enough. And sometimes it's a crazy one-two punch.

But that messy middle is exactly where the power is. It's where you can pause, check in, and guide yourself back home, if needed.

So let's look at some simple ways to recognize these two selves in action, and I'll share some cozy practices to help you choose your goddess self—again and again. (Go grab your fuzzy socks and make some tea.)

Who is Your False Self?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably felt stuck between the part of you that wants to shine and the part that always seems to hold you back with self-doubt or criticism. That tug-of-war isn’t random.

It’s your false self, that picked up all the rules, fears, and heavy armor you needed just to get safely through childhood and beyond. The thing is, while this false self once protected you, it is now more likely to block the warmth and light of your truest, most goddess-like self.

But it's not like your false self is consciously deciding to sabotage your happiness. Most of us started building it when we were very young.

Every time you felt unsafe, misunderstood, or simply needed to be “good” to get love, a part of you stepped in to help you blend in, play it safe, or keep the peace. Maybe you got skilled at reading the room, silencing your needs, or working extra hard to avoid mistakes.

These were smart survival instincts—your inner protector at work. For many of us (especially sensitive souls and healers), childhood felt like a place to adapt, not a place to be free.

So, the false self did its job well. And we can be grateful that it got us to where we are now.

But what once kept you safe is now a cage. It can keep you repeating the same old stories: “Don’t go too far, don’t speak up, don’t risk getting hurt.”

But that voice isn’t the real you. The authentic you wants so much more than just survival.

She's ready to grow and heal out loud. And let go of both shame and fear.

Signs that Your False Self Has Taken the Reins

Though you may know you have a false self, it can be difficult to notice its presence during your day.

But one time it's bound to show up is right when you’re on the brink of something wonderful, meaningful, or new.

Here are some ways you might find your false self taking the lead...

(1) Perfectionism: You're holding yourself to impossible standards. And nothing you do feels like it's quite good “enough,” so you so you try harder or do more.

This urge to never make mistakes is a classic disguise for fear—fear of judgment, failure, or being found out.

(2) Impostor Syndrome: Even after all your work or growth, a voice in your head whispers, “You don’t really belong here, and they're gonna find out.”

Impostor syndrome is your false self’s way of keeping you small, so you never discover your power.

(3) Chronic Self-Criticism: You’re quick to notice “what’s wrong” with you, replaying old shaming tapes in your mind. Maybe you second-guess your choices or beat yourself up for being too sensitive, too much, or not enough.

(4) People-Pleasing: You bend (and break) your own boundaries because making others happy feels safer than claiming your truth. You might struggle to say no or feel guilty when you do put yourself first.

(5) Emotional Numbing or Overwhelm: You bury your true feelings beneath busyness, distraction, or caretaking. If you sometimes find it hard to connect with or identify your feelings, or you flip between feeling nothing and feeling everything at once, it’s often the false self at work.

(6) Stuck in Survival Mode: You can see all the good possibilities and hold onto faith for others, but you often notice yourself bracing for the worst, scanning for possible dangers, or obsessively “fixing” yourself or your world.

These survival tendencies may have crept into your spiritual journey, too. You might find yourself determined to “get it right” with your healing, carry shame about old flaws or mistakes, or secretly believe you have to earn ascension.

But these signs of your false self do not represent the truth. They aren't the voice or energy of your goddess self.

They are old messages from your inner child, who still may not feel safe to be real.

And when you recognize these signs, but respond with compassion and understanding, instead of judgment, it will be easier to choose a kinder way forward and get centered again in your truth.

If these signs are painfully familiar, know that they are leftovers from the false matrix. We came here to outgrow it and undo it within ourselves.

And it's happening, even if it's taking longer than you expected. Remember that in any moment, you can invite your true, goddess self to take the lead again.

Has this post resonated with you? Let me know in a comment.

Tomorrow, we'll look at who the goddess self is, and how she shows up when she's running the show.

See you then!

Love, Jeanine

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Welcome to the Beastly Hot, Mid-Summer Edition of the UBC

7/1/2025

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Hey, UBC friends! Is it beastly hot where you are, too? I love the beauty of spring and early summer. But I do not like the dysregulation of the pollen seasons, or the breath-stealing heat of mid-summer and late-summer.

That is all. Moving on. :)

Second Thoughts

I always write my posts ahead, before the challenge starts. And I was looking forward to this summer edition beginning.

But in the last couple of days, I've begun to have second thoughts. I'm not sure I'm up to participating this year.

So although my blog has posts scheduled, this may be the last one you see. If so, I'll miss you guys!

Just in case I change my mind & participate after all, I will proceed with this post as is, for the most part.

Welcome Back

It's always so good to see you all again. I've been looking forward to our conversations and connecting again with you all.

And I'm wishing you a month that creates good memories.

So What is it You Do, Exactly?

Usually in these first posts, I like to remind or inform UBCers of what I do, so they don't go through the month thinking "something in the spiritual realm?" And if my focus has shifted, the first post is a great place to mention that.

I am a lightworker, a spiritual self-healing coach, and a guide for other lightworkers. I believe that we agreed while in spirit to meet each other here and walk each other home.

And my focus, thus far, has been to help lightworkers in several ways...

(1) Help them remember who they are

(2) Help them connect to their higher/divine self

(3) Offer tools & techniques for emotional healing and self-care

(4) Offer tools & techniques for creating a comfort apothecary and comforting rituals

(5) Offer tools & techniques for dispelling fear and staying grounded in a world that's flipped upside down

Although I also sometimes curate and share information on energy updates and navigating the ascension process, that's not really a focus or an expertise of mine.

IT'S FREE...

If you're curious, what I am offering right now, for free, is a morning rituals guide and a comforting rituals generator (AI tool.)

IT'S NOT FREE :)

What I offer for sale is my fearless lightworker toolkit. And speaking of shifts, that toolkit is likely to morph into an eCourse sometime soon.

In the comments, I'd love to know what you do.

Now You See Me...

I have more chronic illnesses than I can remember in one telling. And now I'm older (this post is brought to you by the number 60!)

So I can't even hope to keep up with those of you who are in it to win it and post every day. This month, the standard I'm holding myself to is two posts a week, and now, I'm wondering if I'll even manage that goal.

But that means I will miss out on a lot of your posts, and I want you to know I don't take that lightly.

How are you feeling about the month ahead?

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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My Summer Solstice Ritual

6/21/2025

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The great pause [summer solstice] will reveal a new beginning for you and a conscious redirect in your life. This is a pause. ... After the pause is a turning point. ... Your soul is working with you to shift your life into the highest possible path. - KerryK.com

In yesterday's post, I gave suggestions for a summer solstice comfort ritual. In this ritual, I want to share what I did, in my own ritual.

My Summer Solstice Ritual

I began my ritual by imagining lighting a candle because my allergies had really been bothering me and I wasn't sure I could handle the smoke.

Next, I did breathwork, some movement, and held my obsidian stone while doing the grounding exercise.

I did the journaling - which you will see below.

I wrote down what I was ready to let go of, and set intentions for the rest of the year. Actually, I had set those intentions and I said aloud before writing in my journaI yesterday morning.

I used water to release what I was ready to let go of, but I also mentally released them to the sun.

The Journaling Prompts
& My Responses

Journaling Prompts for the Summer Solstice

(1) What abundance have I already welcomed this year?

Finally, I was able to move into a new home, and it was the fresh start I had been waiting a long time for. I love having complete privacy - I have my own bedroom, my own bathroom and only one roommate.

I've begun to get to know my new neighbors, and was able to have my best friends here, in this community, too - in and out of each other's apartments, having tea or eating dinner together.

My apartment is filled with light and I can see plenty of nature outside my window.

(2) Where have I outgrown my comfort zone, and what held me back?

I'm not sure how to answer this question. Except for growing my business. I am trying now to step outside my comfort zone, so it can grow. What held me back is probably fear.

(3) What part of me feels ready to shine brighter?

I think it's the lightworker part. If I can't be seen or found, who can I help? So I am ready and willing to go all in on my business.

(4) Which old patterns or fears am I willing to release into the sunlight?

-Trying to control everything, instead of surrendering and trusting that the divine has my back.

-Blaming or shaming myself for acting like a person, instead of being perfect. But also for mistakes I've made that were hard to forgive, or decisions that in hindsight, I regret.

-Avoiding abuse issues. They seem to be coming up now, and though I have already dedicated years to this process (!!!), I am ready to get on with it, and heal whatever is holding me back from my highest good.

And I'd like to add one more (a two-fer) based on the article I quoted from Kerry K's website...

(5) Are you being led in another directions? Did you pause during the summer solstice and feel guided in any way?

Actually, I did pause. And I felt guided. But I have felt led to pursue more than one direction.

Personally, I feel called to create more time each day for rest and for pleasure; especially to stop working sooner each day.

But I also felt inspired to lean more in the direction of identity, or future self coaching for lightworkers. And I want to explore journaling as a form of emotional healing.

I'd love to know if and how you celebrated the solstice.

See you next time!

Jeanine

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<<Previous

Emotional Regulation, Part Two: How Breathwork Helps When Your Feelings are Getting the Best of You

Breathwork: A Soothing
Way Back to Yourself

Breath & the Nervous System

Conscious Breathing

Wordless Wednesday: Choices

Emotional Regulation: Your Everyday Practice

Emotional Regulation

Defining Emotional Regulation

The Brain-Body Connection

Bringing Emotional Regulation into Your Life

Guided Journaling for Emotional Healing and Self-Discovery

What's Guided Journaling?

Guided Journaling for
Emotional Healing

Try a Mini Ritual with
Guided Journal Prompts

I Got Help from a
Guided Journaling AI Tool

Integrate Guided Journaling
into Your Sacred Self-Care Rituals

The Takeaway

Part Three: How to Tell Who's Leading - False Self or Goddess Self

Picking Up on the Clues

Journaling & Rituals
to Make the Shift

Comfort Rituals to Nurture & Strengthen the Goddess Self

The Takeaway

How to Celebrate the 4th of July

Part Two: The Goddess Self & How to Know When She's Leading

Who is the Goddess Self?

How Your Goddess Self Supports Collective Healing

False Self vs. Goddess Self: And How to Know Who's Really in Charge

Who is Your False Self?

Signs that Your False Self Has Taken the Reins

Welcome to the Beastly Hot, Mid-Summer Edition of the UBC

Second Thoughts

Welcome Back

So What is it You Do, Exactly?

Now You See Me...

My Summer Solstice Ritual

My Summer Solstice Ritual

The Journaling Prompts
& My Responses

Hi, I'm Jeanine

Archives

Categories

Breathwork: A Soothing​Way Back to Yourself

Breath & the Nervous System

Conscious Breathing

Emotional Regulation

Defining Emotional Regulation

The Brain-Body Connection

Bringing Emotional Regulation into Your Life

What's Guided Journaling?

Guided Journaling for ​Emotional Healing

Try a Mini Ritual with​Guided Journal Prompts

I Got Help from aGuided Journaling AI Tool

Integrate Guided Journalinginto Your Sacred Self-Care Rituals

The Takeaway

Picking Up on the Clues

Journaling & Rituals​to Make the Shift

Comfort Rituals to Nurture & Strengthen the Goddess Self

The Takeaway

Who is the Goddess Self?

How Your Goddess Self Supports Collective Healing

Who is Your False Self?

Signs that Your False Self Has Taken the Reins

Second Thoughts

Welcome Back

So What is it You Do, Exactly?

Now You See Me...

My Summer Solstice Ritual

The Journaling Prompts ​& My Responses

Hi, I'm Jeanine

Archives

Categories

Breathwork: A Soothing
Way Back to Yourself

Guided Journaling for
Emotional Healing

Try a Mini Ritual with
Guided Journal Prompts

I Got Help from a
Guided Journaling AI Tool

Integrate Guided Journaling
into Your Sacred Self-Care Rituals

Journaling & Rituals
to Make the Shift

The Journaling Prompts
& My Responses