Emotional Self-Care for Grief & Loss

I believe that most, if not all, of the challenges we experience in life are related to unresolved grief/loss or fear of loss. Even anger or character traits and behaviors we criticize, like arrogance, control, deception, superiority, etc., can probably be traced back to a loss or a fear of losing something of value.

It's difficult to be our best or most authentic selves when we are grieving or afraid of loss.

Our world rearranges itself and what we see, think and feel changes into something that's not 100% clear. And possibly, not the entire truth.

Also, I'm not sure we can be alive and not be grappling with it in some way, or be affected by others who are doing so. So that makes emotional self-care and the ability to soothe & comfort ourselves of paramount importance.

Especially if we want to live in truth, peace, harmony and authenticity.

Take a deep breath and let's dive in. 
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What Grief Looks Like

​As we all know, grief isn't just about losing someone to death. We grieve lost relationships, lost dreams, lost versions of ourselves.

We grieve changes in health, changes in circumstances, changes in how we thought our lives would unfold. Sometimes we even grieve things we never had - the childhood we deserved, the love we longed for, the opportunities that passed us by.

I am grieving something in every category in that last paragraph, not to mention the one before.

For example, I was talking to a roommate a few weeks ago about my dream of a big, family home that "the kids" would come to at least once a year, at Christmas. Well, so far, I have had to amend that to the one kid dropping by the apartment for a quick exchange of gifts.

No matter what the loss is, they all deserve to be grieved and honored. Each one shapes how we move through the world, how we protect ourselves, how we connect with others.

What Would You Want in Your Grief Comfort Kit?

(Picture above - I'd want trips to the ocean in my comfort kit)

When we already know how to take care of ourselves, in response to grief, it can help us be kinder and more tender with ourselves as losses occur.

Let's have a look at what you might want to add to your collection of tools and practices for responding to grief...

PHYSICAL COMFORT

(1) A soft blanket that feels like a gentle hug

(2) Soothing tea that warms from the inside

(3) Comforting scents that ground you in the present

(4) Objects that help you feel held and supported

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

(1) Being able to share your feelings with simple phrases that acknowledge your pain: "This hurts. This matters. I'm here."

(2) Permission to feel whatever you feel

(3) Gentle movement to help emotions move through

(4) Safe spaces to express feelings without judgment

SPIRITUAL CONNECTION

(1) Rituals that honor what's been lost

(2) Practices that help you feel less alone

(3) Ways to find meaning without forcing silver linings

(4) Connections to something larger than your pain

If this were a checklist, how many would you be able to check off?

Tea Recipe

We keep talking about tea, but I haven't shared any recipes. Here's my favorite tea! ...

Walmart's Great Value decaf teabag
Sugar or sweetener to taste
1/5 teaspoon of a caramel apple drink mix 
1 tablespoon of Torino's vanilla bean syrup
2 tablespoons of International Delight's Cinnabon creamer

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine

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I'm sharing my cherished comfort-centered letting go ritual - the same gentle practice that's carried me through many of my own difficult moments. It's free, my gift to you, here:
Letting Go Ritual​
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