False Self vs. Goddess Self: And How to Know Who's Really in Charge

Do you ever wonder why some days you feel centered, clear, maybe even luminous, and other days you get caught up in old patterns of doubt or unworthiness?

​And sometimes, it’s off and on in the same day!

Or is that just me?

As a lightworker or healer, life seems to put you to the test as soon as you decide you’re finally stepping into your truest self.

There’s this ongoing tug-of-war: your goddess self is ready to lead, but the false self (that voice soaked in old shame and survival stories) is just as eager to take over. And unfortunately, it often feels more real, at first.

It’s frustrating, right? You know you’re here to beam healing into the world, but you’re still sorting out who’s actually living your life—your soul or your survival-mode self.

The truth is, there’s real power (and relief) in learning to tell which one is showing up.

This is the first of 2 or 3 posts where we will be exploring how to tell who's leading.
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Keep reading…
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Here's why it's so powerful. If you can spot the difference, you can soothe your shame, reclaim your light, and show up for yourself and others from a place that feels centered.

It's not easy, but it's the only game in town. 

I find that the lines blur the most on hard days, when fear sneaks in and makes me want to hide, or when shame suggests I’m not enough. And sometimes it's a crazy one-two punch.

But that messy middle is exactly where the power is. It's where you can pause, check in, and guide yourself back home, if needed.

So let's look at some simple ways to recognize these two selves in action, and I'll share some cozy practices to help you choose your goddess self—again and again. (Go grab your fuzzy socks and make some tea.)
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Who is Your False Self?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably felt stuck between the part of you that wants to shine and the part that always seems to hold you back with self-doubt or criticism. That tug-of-war isn’t random.

It’s your false self, that picked up all the rules, fears, and heavy armor you needed just to get safely through childhood and beyond. The thing is, while this false self once protected you, it is now more likely to block the warmth and light of your truest, most goddess-like self.

But it's not like your false self is consciously deciding to sabotage your happiness. Most of us started building it when we were very young.

Every time you felt unsafe, misunderstood, or simply needed to be “good” to get love, a part of you stepped in to help you blend in, play it safe, or keep the peace. Maybe you got skilled at reading the room, silencing your needs, or working extra hard to avoid mistakes.

These were smart survival instincts—your inner protector at work. For many of us (especially sensitive souls and healers), childhood felt like a place to adapt, not a place to be free.

So, the false self did its job well. And we can be grateful that it got us to where we are now.

But what once kept you safe is now a cage. It can keep you repeating the same old stories: “Don’t go too far, don’t speak up, don’t risk getting hurt.”

But that voice isn’t the real you. The authentic you wants so much more than just survival.

She's ready to grow and heal out loud. And let go of both shame and fear.

Signs that Your False Self Has Taken the Reins

​Though you may know you have a false self, it can be difficult to notice its presence during your day.

But one time it's bound to show up is right when you’re on the brink of something wonderful, meaningful, or new.

Here are some ways you might find your false self taking the lead...

(1) Perfectionism: You're holding yourself to impossible standards. And nothing you do feels like it's quite good “enough,” so you so you try harder or do more.

This urge to never make mistakes is a classic disguise for fear—fear of judgment, failure, or being found out.

(2) Impostor Syndrome: Even after all your work or growth, a voice in your head whispers, “You don’t really belong here, and they're gonna find out.”

Impostor syndrome is your false self’s way of keeping you small, so you never discover your power.

(3) Chronic Self-Criticism: You’re quick to notice “what’s wrong” with you, replaying old shaming tapes in your mind. Maybe you second-guess your choices or beat yourself up for being too sensitive, too much, or not enough.

(4) People-Pleasing: You bend (and break) your own boundaries because making others happy feels safer than claiming your truth. You might struggle to say no or feel guilty when you do put yourself first.

(5) Emotional Numbing or Overwhelm: You bury your true feelings beneath busyness, distraction, or caretaking. If you sometimes find it hard to connect with or identify your feelings, or you flip between feeling nothing and feeling everything at once, it’s often the false self at work.

(6) Stuck in Survival Mode: You can see all the good possibilities and hold onto faith for others, but you often notice yourself bracing for the worst, scanning for possible dangers, or obsessively “fixing” yourself or your world.

These survival tendencies may have crept into your spiritual journey, too. You might find yourself determined to “get it right” with your healing, carry shame about old flaws or mistakes, or secretly believe you have to earn ascension.

But these signs of your false self do not represent the truth. They aren't the voice or energy of your goddess self.

They are old messages from your inner child, who still may not feel safe to be real.

And when you recognize these signs, but respond with compassion and understanding, instead of judgment, it will be easier to choose a kinder way forward and get centered again in your truth.

If these signs are painfully familiar, know that they are leftovers from the false matrix. We came here to outgrow it and undo it within ourselves.

And it's happening, even if it's taking longer than you expected. Remember that in any moment, you can invite your true, goddess self to take the lead again.

Has this post resonated with you? Let me know in a comment.

Tomorrow, we'll look at who the goddess self is, and how she shows up when she's running the show.

See you then!

Love, Jeanine
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