Healing through Forgiveness: Letting Go of Your Old Wounds

Today, we're going to talk about forgiveness.

Though it sometimes feels that way, it's not an unreachable goal.

And if you let it, it can be tender and deeply healing. Like setting down a heavy bag and realizing how much lighter you feel. 

Let's begin this conversation by agreeing that forgiveness is never about pretending that nothing happened, or waving away your pain like it didn’t matter. It’s about you, here and now, choosing comfort over carrying pain. 

Forgiving, especially something big, is rarely easy. It can feel like you’re peeling back layers you thought you’d covered long ago.

But each time you practice forgiveness, you make a choice for your own peace. 

​Forgiveness is a way to cut the cord to whatever’s holding you in place. And when you do that, you free yourself from the memories that keep you stuck.

What Forgiveness Means

Forgiveness is about letting go of the hold that past hurts have on your heart. It’s you deciding not to let anger, resentment, or sadness run the show. 

But I want to be clear about this: you don’t have to keep people in your life who are still hurting you.  That is not what forgiveness is about.

It's an inner shift, a way to put your healing ahead of old pain. You step back into your own power instead of letting someone else’s choices shape how you feel every day.

Why Forgiveness Helps You Heal

Healing starts on the inside, where the roots of pain live.
 
Healing is really about acknowledging the hurt but deciding that you’re not going to let that pain define or guide your life anymore, and that you're willing to free up the energy holding on was using for something that brings you joy.

Forgiveness also lets you process anger, sadness, or shame so those feelings don’t keep cycling through your days. It’s the best kind of self-care.
 
Maybe the deepest kind there is. Without it, old wounds can stay raw, resurfacing every single time you hit a rough patch.
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Choosing to forgive is like finally letting yourself step out into the sunlight after a long winter.

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Forgiveness &
The Power of Empathy

Healing starts on the inside, where the roots of pain live. 

The intention to heal would be something like, “It really hurt me but I’m not going to let that pain ruin my life anymore.”

Forgiveness lets you process anger, sadness, or shame so those feelings don’t keep cycling through your days. It’s the best kind of self-care. 

Maybe the deepest kind there is. Without it, old wounds can stay raw, resurfacing every single time you hit a rough patch.

The Power of Empathy

Empathy can help you begin to release your angry feelings. When you can see the hurt in another person, you might find it easier to let go, because you'll understand that pain often makes people hurt others.

Doesn't mean you're letting anyone off the hook. It’s more about freeing yourself from the endless loop of “why did they do that?”

Empathy helps you see the bigger picture and loosen your grip on the old stories.

But as with everything else, keep in mind that this takes time.

I find that I have to go through the angry "what a terrible thing to say/do' part and then I get to the part where I remind myself of their pain and my anger softens. This could happen again and again before you're finally at peace with it.

​So you have to allow the process. It's actually grief that's been postponed. Think of the stages of grief and then apply it to what you're trying to forgive, and be patient with yourself.

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Self-Forgiveness

Forgiving yourself matters just as much as forgiving anyone else, if not more. Guilt and regret can stick to you like glue, making it easy to replay past mistakes, over and over and over.

BY FAR, this is the hardest part for me. And it was  in my face late spring, early summer this year. What dealing with it taught me was that you can't rush self-forgiveness. It has its own timeline. But you can set the intention and be open to healing.

Start by facing what happened. That's a good way to open yourself to healing.

​Take responsibility where you need to. And then offer yourself grace, and see if healing follows. 

We all do things we wish we could take back. Allow yourself to grieve the knowledge that you can't take them back.

Self-forgiveness is about letting go of the way you've judged yourself, and allowing acceptance, instead. When you offer yourself kindness, instead of judgment, real healing becomes possible and will show up for you, when you're ready.

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The Promise of Forgiveness
Over Time

See, it doesn’t have to happen all at once. Forgiveness is a process.

Allow it to take the time it needs. Just step firmly onto the path, intention clear.

And over time, if you keep leaning into forgiveness, even a little at a time, you’ll feel a shift. One day, a cloud will lift and it will be easy to see the goodness all around you.

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Journal Prompt

(1) Is there a memory that still hurts and might be defining your life without your meaning for that to happen?

(2) What would it feel like to set that weight down, even just for today?

Wrap up in a soft blanket, light a candle, and remind yourself: forgiveness is a comfort you give to your own soul first.

See you soon,

​Love, Jeanine

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