How to Stop Overgiving & Allow Yourself to Receive

Overgiving, often stemming from an inability to receive, involves repeatedly prioritizing others' needs over your own, which can lead to burnout, resentment, and feeling depleted. It's characterized by a pattern of constantly giving without receiving in return, often with the expectation of validation or praise. - Google's AI Overview

Learning to receive is just as important as giving. When you let yourself accept help, rest, and love, you create balance in your life.

​Instead of feeling drained, you begin to feel supported. You deserve to receive just as much as you give.

Are You Overgiving?

It can happen gradually. You may not notice how much you are giving until you start feeling exhausted or resentful.

If you feel responsible for making others happy, often put your needs last, or feel guilty when you say no, you may be giving more than you can sustain.

Pay attention to how you feel after giving. If it leaves you drained instead of fulfilled, it may be a sign that you need to step back.
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Is it Difficult for You to Receive?

Here are some reasons why receiving may be so difficult for you.

​If you struggle to receive, it may be because you have been conditioned to believe that giving is more valuable. Receiving can bring up uncomfortable feelings. 

Do any of these feelings resonate for you?

(1) Guilt, because you believe you should be the one helping others

(2) A sense of weakness, as if accepting help means you are not capable

(3) Fear of being seen as selfish or demanding

(4) Discomfort with attention or appreciation

(5) Worry that you will owe something in return

If you can acknowledge these feelings, you can begin to overcome them.
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Proving Your Worth

Were you taught that love, support, or kindness have to be earned?

If you believe you have to prove your worth through constant giving, it will be difficult to receive without guilt. But true care is not something you have to earn.

You deserve love and support simply because you exist. 

If you feel the need to over-perform in relationships, ask yourself why. Are you giving out of genuine love, or because you feel like you have to?

You don't need to exhaust yourself to be worthy of care. The people who truly value you will appreciate you for who you are, not just for what you do for them.

Practice Saying Yes to Help 
​and Support

When someone offers support, try to accept it without hesitating.

If a friend asks if you need anything, say yes instead of automatically saying no. If someone offers to take something off your plate, let them.

The more you practice saying yes to help, the easier it becomes. Allowing others to support you creates stronger relationships and reminds you that you do not have to carry everything alone.

And remember: self-care era! Letting yourself receive help is a form of self-care.

Self-Care also Means
​Giving to Yourself

If you struggle to receive from others, you probably also struggle to receive from yourself.

You might allow yourself to rest only when you are exhausted or care for yourself only when you have no other choice. Self-care is not something you should have to “deserve.” 

It's something you need and are always worthy of.

Instead of waiting for permission, give it to yourself. Start giving yourself the care you would easily give to someone else.

Take breaks when you need them, nourish your body with good food, and allow yourself to rest without feeling guilty. Once you're able to receive from yourself, it will become easier to receive from others.
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Insist on Healthy Relationships and Interactions with Others

If you're always overgiving, then you might be in some funky relationships! And I can say that, because I've been in quite a few of them myself.

A frequent refrain of mine: am I still learning about boundaries? Again?!?

Healthy relationships and interactions involve both giving and receiving. If you are always giving and never allowing yourself to receive, your energy becomes unbalanced.

Start checking in with yourself, regularly. Are you giving because you genuinely want to, or because you feel obligated? Are you allowing yourself to receive as much as you give? 

Setting boundaries, asking for support, and allowing yourself to rest are all ways to create a healthier balance. When you give and receive equally, you build stronger relationships and a healthier way of caring for yourself and others.

​Does this post resonate with you? How are you at giving and receiving?

Have a great weekend!

Love, Jeanine
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