When Life is too Much: Tender Ways to Hold Big Emotions

​When I was growing up, there was a Secret deodorant commercial that ended by saying, “never let ‘em see you sweat!” And I used to tease my mother and tell her that was her life motto.
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But I took it in as a rule, too, because that really was a way of life for my mother. When I would come home crying, she’d lecture me about giving them the satisfaction and tell me not to feel whatever I was feeling.

So I tried very hard to be just like her. And for quite some time, it was nearly impossible. 

But eventually, I did so well at pretending all was well that people used to tell me I looked peaceful when I was raging on the inside.

When I was in my 20s, a therapist threatened to fire me because I was telling her painful stories with absolutely no emotional expression. I convinced her to keep me, but like The Velveteen Rabbit, it took me a long time to become real.

And even longer to learn how to cope with the intense feelings I had.

How do you deal with big feelings? Let’s talk about that, today.

How to Respond to Big Feelings

​​As a sensitive healer, you’re bound to feel things more deeply than most. And like me, you may have learned that the best way to deal with difficult feelings is to hide them from yourself, or to talk yourself out of them.

What should you do instead? First, make sure they are yours.

You’re intuitive, probably an empath, which means that you are constantly tuning into to the thoughts, feelings, attitudes, longings and impulses of others. And of course, the problem is that they feel like they are your own.

Ask to clear everything but your own energy and use a clearing tool or technique, like visualizing the energy going into the ground to be transmuted and then to come back to you as love.

But once you know that the intense or painful feelings are really yours, resist the temptation to deny or talk yourself out of them. In Wicked, the real hero is the woman with all the intensity.
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Instead, I suggest a more tender approach that bathes you in self-love and self-acceptance. Reach for them both, rather than self-criticism or rejection.

Journaling & Other
​Mindful Practices

Allow yourself to sit with your emotions, accepting them exactly as they are. Imagine wrapping these feelings in a soft, comforting blanket of light, as if you are cradling them gently with understanding and compassion.

This practice can help you develop a sense of safety within yourself, creating a space where you feel free to explore and express your true feelings without fear or judgment.

Use journaling as a way to give voice to your feelings. Let your thoughts flow onto the page, without censoring them.

When I began to journal or talk about my feelings with friends, I found that it made the situations that led to them much more clear. I often discovered needs I hadn’t recognized before and become aware of boundaries that I needed to set.

Boundaries are an act of self-love, but sometimes we pretend we don’t need them. Allowing yourself to identify what you are feeling, and why, will help you love yourself more by setting the boundaries you know need to be established and expressed.

To help yourself catch hidden feelings in the act, add mindful practices to your daily routine, such as meditation or deep breathing, so you can stay grounded and connected to your inner self.

​It’s also important to stay fully present with your emotions, so that you can respond with self-love rather than react from a place of fear or avoidance. 

​It may not always feel that way, but being a sensitive healer is a gift, and your deep feelings are part of that gift. By responding with tenderness, and acceptance, you’ll likely find that you feel more connected to your true self and you’ll understand yourself more.

And here’s another beautiful thing about maintaining that level of self-awareness and acceptance - your ability to support and heal others will grow.

Does this post resonate with you? Ask yourself if you need to shift anything about the way you respond to your feelings.

Take a moment to imagine a whole year of responding with love and tenderness, instead of denial and rejection.

See you next time!

Love, Jeanine
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I'm sharing my cherished comfort-centered letting go ritual - the same gentle practice that's carried me through many of my own difficult moments. It's free, my gift to you, here:
Letting Go Ritual​
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